Emotional Intelligence – Relationship Management Strategies 4/18/17

Emotional Intelligence – Relationship Management Strategies* Managing relationships, over time, takes thoughtful effort. Everyone knows that relationships take work but we seldom think about what that really means. Relationships take three things; time, effort and knowledge. If any of these three things are cut the relationship will suffer. Time and effort are self-explanatory but knowledge requires thought and attention. Dr. Bradberry* lists 17 strategies for Relationship Management including: Be Open and Curious, Enhance Your Natural Communication Style, Avoid Giving Mixed Signals, Remember the Little Things That Pack a Punch, Take Feedback Well, Build Trust, Have an "Open-door" Policy, Only Get Mad on Purpose, Don't Avoid the Inevitable, Acknowledge the Other Persons Feelings, Complement the Person's Emotions or Situation, When you Care...Show it, Explain Your Decisions...Don't Just Make Them, Make Your Feedback Direct and Constructive, Align Your Intention with Your Impact, Offer a "Fix-it" Statement during a Broken Conversation, Tackle a Tough Conversation. As I said last week, most of these ideas are "common sense" and have been offered by relationship coaches for years. The book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 since it covers each of these in great detail. ** Army Leadership Doctrine: As an Army Chaplain I have used many of these ideas in my counseling for years. When I studied Marriage and Family Therapy these were a big part of teaching people how to get along better with their family and others. I think there has been an assumption on the part of many that these techniques are fine but not really important in the scope of Army Leadership Doctrine. However, I would argue that good people skills are an important characteristic of all great leaders. As we consider near peer competitors and we focus more on Human Terrain and the Human Dimension, I believe leaders who ignore relationship principals do so at their own peril (my opinion). Please let me know if you have further ideas/comments on this subject. *This is a personal reflection on chapter 8 of the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves – I heard Bradberry speak at an event called the Global Leadership Summit held in late summer each year. The next summit will be Aug 10-11 at 600 locations nationwide. Google it for more info. ** For a religious thought on this reflection you may consider Galatians 5:22-23 or for a spiritual one consult www.belief.net (consider the article 5 ways to deal with difficult people). Unhappy people: Love things, use people. Happy people: Use things, love people.