The 13 Behaviors: #7 Confront Reality

The 13 Behaviors: #7 Confront Reality One of the fastest ways to build trust, as the leader of any organization, is to confront reality. The "elephant in the room" or the "sacred cows" of a situation must be faced if any organization is going to improve and survive. However, this is sometimes quite difficult since people often become accustomed to ignoring reality. People may be shocked when confronting reality but they will also be relieved that the unmentionable or unquestioned is exposed. Confronting reality focuses the creative energy of the entire team on the most significant problem/issue. Confronting reality treats coworkers as valued members who can handle difficult problems and helps create alignment of the team toward the most significant obstacles. Confronting reality should not be confused with confronting people (though that may be necessary too) the problem should remain the focus. The counterfeit of Confront Reality is denial (and I would add; downplaying/ minimizing/dismissing). Of course this behavior hues closely to many of the other behaviors including #1"Talk Straight." Both the book and the Strong Bonds curriculum explain these principals in great detail and help you figure out how to apply them in your context.** Army Leadership Doctrine: Confronting reality is one of the major tasks of every Army leader since building trust is vital to success/survival. ADRP 6.0 Mission Command, Paragraph 2-9 says, "A critical challenge for commanders, staffs, and unified action partners is creating shared understanding of their operational environment, the operation’s purpose, problems, and approaches to solving them." For Army teams to conquer problems confronting reality is essential.

The 13 Behaviors: # 6: Deliver Results 2/22/2018

Behavior 6: Deliver Results The first five characteristics; talk straight, demonstrate respect, create transparency, right wrongs, and show loyalty, are all “character” behaviors. Behavior 6, deliver results, begins the “competency” behaviors. Deliver results may seem primarily like a “business “ competency, and indeed in a team setting it is very important, but results are important in every trust relationship. Pull your weight, be on time, get ‘er’ done, are just as important in a marriage/family setting as they are at work. After all, what’s a relationship like when you can’t count on others to do their part? In teams, those who deliver results build trust quickly. People like that are spoken about with words like “I can always count on her/him to do the job, meet the deadline, finish under budget.” The opposite of those who deliver results are easy to spot, those who perform poorly. However, the “counterfeit, “ perhaps the most unhelpful, are those who create a lot of activity, talk a good game, but never cross the finish line. Strong leaders help teams set goals and hold people accountable for results. Great teams always figure out how to “score” no matter the obstacles. Both the book and the Strong Bonds curriculum explain these principals in great detail and help you figure out how to apply them in your context.** Army Leadership Doctrine: As you look at the Army Leadership Requirements Model (ADRP 6-22, Figure 1-1) you see the attribute Achieves (gets results). Of the 6 ALRM attributes this one is the least defined. No doubt that is because every leadership position is different; nevertheless we should always be on guard for "activity" masquerading as "results." *This is a reflection on a section of pages 157-162 of the book "The Speed of Trust" by Steven M.R. Covey which is the basis of the Strong Bonds curriculum The Speed of Trust for Families/Marriages/Soldiers. I highly recommend both! **CH Gramling posts a religious thought from a Christian perspective on the leadership thoughts each week at http://chaplainschatter316.blogspot.com

The 13 Behaviors: #5 Show Loyalty 2/2/2018

The 13 Behaviors: #5 Show Loyalty* Showing loyalty is about three things: giving credit, speaking about others as if they are present and always speaking of everyone respectfully. Giving credit is easy and builds trust quickly. This is because people naturally want to be noticed for their contributions and appreciate it when others recognize their work. Speaking about others as though they were present is a bit harder since so much of our culture today revolves around gossip but, there is nothing more disloyal than duplicity in our words. Always speaking respectfully of others can be hard too, particularly when people do bad things. One helpful idea, when the situation demands that you speak of someone's choices, is to focus on actions not character or motives. The counterfeit of these actions is: giving credit only when you have to and then claiming credit for yourself; publicly shaming others for speaking about others but privately doing the same and, speaking disrespectfully about others behind their back. Good leaders do good things but great leaders also watch their words carefully. The tongue can undo a thousand good actions with one dumb sentence. Both the book and the Strong Bonds curriculum explain these principals in great detail and help you figure out how to apply them in your context.** Army Leadership Doctrine: Loyalty is one of the seven Army values. ADRP 1 quotes the values " A loyal Soldier is one who supports the leadership and stands up for fellow Soldiers. By wearing the uniform of the U.S. Army you are expressing your loyalty. And by doing your share, you show your loyalty to your unit." These are good words but don't give much detail about what it actually means to show loyalty. In America we have the right to thought and action but just because we can speak poorly of others does not mean we should. Integrity means that our words and our actions go together but too often today people say that they are loyal but speak disrespectfully of one another. (perhaps this is why Billy Joel thinks honesty is a "lonely" word) *This is a reflection on a section of pages 152-157 of the book "The Speed of Trust" by Steven M.R. Covey which is the basis of the Strong Bonds curriculum The Speed of Trust for Families/Marriages/Soldiers. I highly recommend both! **CH Gramling posts a religious thought from a Christian perspective on the leadership thoughts each week at http://chaplainschatter316.blogspot.com

The 13 Behaviors: #4 Right Wrongs 2/1/2018

The 13 Behaviors: #4 Right Wrongs* Righting wrongs is about more than apologizing it's also about setting things straight (making restitution). Doing this takes humility since there is both an emotional cost, admitting fault, and a real (often monetary) cost, paying to make up for the error. Often immature leaders think that by admitting wrong that they are somehow weakening their position. In the movie "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon" screen legend John Wayne, playing CPT Nathan Brittles, says "You're not quite "Army" yet, miss... or you'd know never to apologize... it's a sign of weakness." Even in the film "Patton" the forced apology is only through gritted teeth. Often in our popular culture strong figures are those who never admit fault, but in reality leaders who can tactfully and artfully admit their weaknesses can build teams that are stronger than the sum of their parts, far beyond the abilities of the individual leader. Often the real problem is the ego of the leader; some leaders would rather the whole team go down in defeat than admit fault, apologize and fix the problem. Often the difference between success and failure is being able to quickly admit mistakes, set things right, build the team and maintain trust.* Both the book and the Strong Bonds curriculum explain these principals in great detail and help you figure out how to apply them in your context.** Army Leadership Doctrine: The Army puts great faith in leaders at all levels even giving commanders non-judicial authority. FM 6-22, para 7-14 to 7-18 talk about building a climate of trust. Table 7-9 indicates that leaders should "admit mistakes." You can learn more about the "Art" of admitting failure at https://hbr.org/2011/03/the-art-of-admitting-failure *This is a reflection on a section of pages 158-164 of the book "The Speed of Trust" by Steven M.R. Covey which is the basis of the Strong Bonds curriculum The Speed of Trust for Families/Marriages/Soldiers. I highly recommend both!

The 13 Behaviors: #3 Create Transparency 1/25/2018

The 13 Behaviors: #3 Create Transparency* You have heard the expression, information (or knowledge) is power; therefore, hording information can be a temptation to an immature leader. However, since information usually gets out anyway, the short term gain of withholding information then becomes a huge loss. Perhaps this is why so many companies today have gone from a "propriety" mindset to an "open-source" mindset. Sharing knowledge is both powerful and empowering because more can be accomplished with a team (community) than an assemblage of individuals. Of course, as with all of the 13 behaviors, there is a sweet spot in sharing information because there are times when not everything should always be in the open. Privacy and timing are just as important as openness; keeping some things in confidence, especially during a negotiation or to protect someone who is vulnerable, is always appropriate. Finally, another important thing to remember is that, like the other behaviors, there is a "counterfeit" to transparency. Those who try to create the "appearance" of transparency, while actually using information as a weapon, are particularly dangerous and untrustworthy, people. Like behavior #1Talk Straight and behavior #2Demonstrate Respect, Creating Transparency can create an atmosphere of trust very quickly and help build teams. Leaders should use this powerful tool thoughtfully.

The Thriteen Behaviors: #2 Demonstrate Respect 1/19/2018

The 13 Behaviors: #2 Demonstrate Respect* The two parts of "demonstrate respect" include: behave in ways that show fundamental respect and in ways that demonstrate caring and concern. I would say that these are like being courteous and generous. In 1922 the famous columnist Emily Post wrote, "to make a pleasant and friendly impression is not only good manners but equally good business." This might seem like a foreign language to an Army audience but many of us have learned in Asia and the Middle East that it is considered rude to conduct business without first asking about a person health or the welfare of their family. But isn't this really this is just human nature? After all, what do you think when you go into a business and you stand around waiting for someone to greet you? If instead someone immediately says welcome and I'll be right with you probably have a much better first impression. Many argue that today courtesy is a core business principal - just ask a manager at Nordstrom's or even Chic-filet. This is also true in our personal lives; our relationships with our own family can be improved with a courteous and generous attitude. Call, write, acknowledge and thank are all little actions that pay big dividends in trust with all those around us. Combined with talking straight, demonstrating respect can open doors of trust in almost any situation. (Consider a commander who orders his troops to "smile" at the hostile crowd - http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/heroes/chrishughes.html)

The Thirteen Behaviors: #1 Talk Straight 1/11/2018

Organizational Trust: The 13 Behaviors: #1 Talk Straight * Last month we finished with the principal of alignment, how organizations harness the power of behavior. We now take up the 13 behaviors that build trust and allow organizational trust to thrive, beginning with: Talk Straight. Talking straight almost seems like an anachronism in our modern "spin" and "fake news" society. I love the phrase in the film "12 O'clock High" where General Merrill says to General Savage "Let me hear it Frank, with the bark on." Our society has become so afraid of speaking truth that most everything is hedge and shade. Speaking truthfully is not an excuse for being rude or mean but "speaking the truth in love" (wounds of a friend), is a powerful behavior that can help heal our relationships and society. Have you ever heard the phrase "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Think for a minute about what are the opposite of those three clauses; yes, that's right, what many "spin doctors" publicists and PR firms have turned into a "dark" art (AKA, lying). One of the things that the Speed of Trust curriculum teaches is that there is a "sweet spot" to each of the behaviors. In every situation you must find a way to tell the truth without either 'technically' telling the truth yet leaving a false impression, or on the other hand, blurting out the truth in a way that hurts people. Leaders who learn how to master the "sweet spot" of honest communication are like "golden apples in a silver tray," (highly prized).

Organizational Trust: The Principle of Alignment 12/112/17

Organizational Trust: The Principle of Alignment* Covey's description of organizational trust reads like an explanation of the principals of Mission Command. In the business world "alignment" means that all elements of the organization are goal focused, in the Army we say with the mission or the commander's intent. High-trust organizations: share information openly, tolerate mistakes as a way of learning, seek innovation and creativity, talk straight and confront real issues, reward candid and authentic communication and hold themselves/others accountable for results. People who are part of high-trust organizations love their work and are proud to tell you about it. The book has a self-test that helps you assess if your organization as high or low trust. Low trust organizations pay a "tax" on all they do (Clausewitz might have called this added fog or friction), but high trust organizations increase in value, accelerate growth, enhance innovation, improve collaboration, strengthen partnerships, execute better and get heightened loyalty. As you can tell, many of these principals are essentially identical to the ones we say we follow in the Army but (to adapt a phrase) all leadership is local. We all have the opportunity/responsibility to build trust since all of us are part of different circles of influence and the principals of alignment apply to all of these contexts; unit, family, church, softball team, etc. The power of a team is truly greater than the sum of its parts and the principal of alignment harnesses the power of teams.

Relationship Trust: The Principle of Behavior 12/8/17

Relationship Trust: The Principle of Behavior* Learning to consistently behave in ways that build trust, and avoid ways that destroy trust, is the principal of relationship trust. These behaviors are timeless, actionable and universal across cultures. Covey focuses on 13 primary behaviors that impact trust between individuals. If you want people to trust you, these behaviors (not words only) will help you. Remember your trust "account" is different with each person and the impact of "deposits and withdrawls," what may be a deposit for one person may be a withdrawl for someone else, also varies. This is partly because any behavior done poorly (too little or too much) can be taken differently. Each behavior also has a "counterfeit" so if you are not sincere it can actually backfire. The 13 behaviors are: Talk Straight, Demonstrate Respect, Create Transparency, Right Wrongs, Show Loyalty, Deliver Results, Get Better, Confront Reality, Clarify Expectations, Practice Accountability, Listen First, Keep Commitments and Extend Trust. Trust is elemental to all relationships and building trust is a key leader capability. Leaders who can build teams who trust each other are valuable in the Army, in the community and in the home. Both the book and the Strong Bonds curriculum cover these behaviors in great detail including: tips on how to practice each behavior, how to find the "sweet spot" so that you strike the right balance and how to spot and avoid counterfeit behavior.** (Note: This thumbnail summary covers 105 pages in the book. You won't get the real benefit of these behaviors from my "cliff notes" summary).

Trust: A variable you can change 11/17/2017

Trust: A variable you can change* Trust must be earned. This is a true statement but there is much more to know about how trust works. Character is the most obvious factor in trust since personal integrity is foundational to establishing trust with anyone. Less obvious is the factor of competence. You may trust a fellow Soldier with your life but that doesn't mean that you would trust them to perform surgery on your brain. Surgery requires expertise and experience; in other words, competence. So we trust our surgeon to operate on our body but that does not mean we would necessarily trust him or her to pilot our next cross country flight (unless they are a flight surgeon). Character and competence are the two halves of the "coin" of trust. If we toss this "coin" of trust into the "fountain" of our environment it "ripples" outward in every direction. The five "waves" of trust are: Self Trust, Relationship Trust, Organizational Trust, Market Trust and Societal Trust (in our context the last two are essentially the same). In this book Covey teaches building trust by ensuring that our perspective, actions and words all work together to create an atmosphere of trust; what he calls see, speak, behave. One of the things I like the most about Covey's book is the emphasis on building trust from the inside out, first yourself, then others. You CAN impact your trust level by taking positive steps. In the weeks ahead we will cover many of those steps. ** Army Leadership Doctrine: We noted last week that ADRP 6-22 6-48 to 6-52 Builds Trust, and table 6-2 (summary of the competency 'Builds Trust') outline trust for Army leaders and the steps to build it. The new FM 3.0 is nested with Army Mission Command and Leadership doctrine, as 1-15 states, "mission command requires mutual trust and shared understanding." These principals are vital throughout the Army, from initial military training through every phase of combat operations. *This is a reflection on chapter 2 of the book "The Speed of Trust" by Steven M.R. Covey and is the basis of the Strong Bonds curriculum The Speed of Trust for Families/Marriages/Soldiers. I highly recommend this book and this training.

Leadership in the Valley 11/8/16

The Valley of the Shadow of Death* The suicide of MG John Rossi two days before he was due to pin on his third star is a troubling event that raises concerns for both the Army and all concerned with leadership. A USA Today report ** indicates that General Rossi was troubled by the deaths of Soldiers under his command, particularly those who had committed suicide, and by the pressure of his responsibilities. Our competitive military HR system delivers the finest leaders anywhere; but it also creates tremendous pressure that can lead to behaviors that seem completely out of character. Having talked to hundreds of Soldiers and Family members about suicide I know that one of the key factors is loneliness, which one can feel even when surrounded by others.*** In the Shepherd's Psalm, written by the legendary warrior King David, he gives us the key to walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. He says, even though I am walking through this dark valley, "I fear no evil" and he tells us why, "for thou art with me" and "your rod and staff" (the weapon of a shepherd) "they comfort me." The Great Shepherd wants to help us through life's deep valleys and he has sent His people (us) to help anyone who is facing life's fears. This is a sacred duty/responsibility that we all have; the opportunity to walk with someone during life's most difficult hour. When you see someone struggling will you take up that challenge? *Psalm 23: 4 **Tom Vanden Brook, General is Most Senior Army Officer to Kill Self, USA Today 28 October 2016. ***Personal notes from Menninger Clinic Suicide Prevention Training 1996.

Leaders and Relationship 11/10/16

Leaders and Relationships* Leadership is about relationships. Yet, relationships are hard and, as we know, today relationships are colored by so many cultural issues; gender, race, financial status, family background. Often it is much easier, and safer, to either avoid relationships or to keep them very superficial. Indeed, in our popular culture models of relationships are often dysfunctional, either sexualized or self-seeking. One model that has been lost, except perhaps in rural America, is of neighbors chatting over the back fence who have deep, respectful, lifelong relationships that give assurance of unconditional support. As a leader being a good neighbor is foundational because people will not follow you if they don’t trust you and followers will not trust you if you do not invest the time to get to know them. Some may dismiss this as a Pollyanna (or perhaps Fred Rodgers) thinking and instead put their faith management systems. However people, like sheep-as opposed to cattle, want to be led not driven and will follow a leader even in a dark valley.** *This is a personal reflection on chapter 1 of the book, The Way of the Shepherd by Leman and Pentak – The main points of chapter one are, Know the status of your people as well as the status of the work Get to know your flock, one sheep at a time Engage your people on a regular basis Keep your eyes and ears open, question, and follow through. In the weeks ahead I plan to reflect on concepts from each chapter in this book. If you want to follow along by reading the chapters I think you will find it very helpful. The next chapter offers some suggestions on how to put chapter one into action. ** For a spiritual thought on this reflection you may consider Luke 10: 25-37

Leaders and Identity 11/23/16

Leaders and Identity* Before people will follow you they first must identify with you. Marketers understand the power of identity and leverage, the psychological power of branding. Indeed, every school where USACC has a program has a distinct identity that the students, faculty and alumni own, perpetuate and jealously guard (Does the term Blue Nation mean anything). In the same way the team you lead, big or small, must form an identity to truly become a team, and you as their leader must model that identity. People will follow a person who is genuine, consistent and caring; someone they trust. People will also strive for excellence if they believe in the mission and the leadership. But they must sense that their effort has value and that you as the leader value their effort. Creating an identity (brand) is difficult, and in the case of livestock even painful, but it does not matter if the organization you lead is big like the United States, the Army or a small section people (even your own family) if they feel that they are on a great team with leaders they can trust they will accomplish great things.** *This is a personal reflection on chapter 3 of the book, The Way of the Shepherd: 7 Ancient Secrets to Managing Productive People by Leman and Pentak – The main points of chapter are: -Build trust by modeling authenticity, integrity and compassion -Set high standards -Relentlessly communicate your values/mission -Tell followers where they fit -Leadership isn’t just professional it’s personal ** For a spiritual thought on this reflection you may consider John 10: 14-18

Leaders and Followers: Finding a Safe Place 12/7/16

Leaders and Followers: Finding a Safe Place* For followers to do their best work they must feel safe. Near the foundation of Maslow’s hierarchy is safety. People will never accomplish great things if they are always on guard. To keep them from feeling this way they have to feel that they know what’s happening around them. A good leader gives followers constant feedback so they are not surprised. Professional counseling, progress updates, and clearly identified goals are just some of the ways followers learn about what is going on and how they are doing. People who are situationally aware and know where they stand among their peers will work hard to belong and gain the esteem of others. Another thing that can make people feel unsafe is when instigators create drama. Leaders must deal with this quickly and effectively to maintain the safety of the group. Smart leaders also make people feel safe by helping the whole team succeed. For people to be effective they must not only be safe they must be shielded from minor distractions. It does not take an existential threat to keep a group from doing their best, even flies or ants (so to speak) can be enough to keep your team from their goals. For followers to feel safe they need to see their leader and trust that he/she knows what’s going on. They also need to believe that their leader will take action when anything threatens the team. Leaders who manage the internal and external environment will make people feel safe and see their team accomplish great things. *This is a personal reflection on chapter 4 of the book, The Way of the Shepherd: 7 Ancient Secrets to Managing Productive People by Leman and Pentak – The main points of chapter are...Make your pasture a safe place: -Keep your people well informed -Infuse every position with importance -Cull chronic instigators from the flock -Regularly rotate the sheep to fresh pastures -Reassure the sheep by staying visible -Don’t give problems time to fester ** For a spiritual thought on this reflection you may consider John 10: 11-13

Leaders: Giving Direction 1/11/17

Leaders: Giving Direction* Giving direction is vital to the leadership enterprise: but how you guide will determine the results. The staff of a shepherd is a tool that can serve as an object which demonstrates this role. The shepherd carries the staff and leads, which requires personal investment and cannot be delegated. The shepherd uses the staff to establish boundaries, gently guide and even rescue (that is the reason for the crook at the top). Leaders keep their eye on the horizon beyond where their followers can see. They also keep everyone together and maintain boundaries. They guide by persuasion and influence always setting the example for others to follow. When necessary they even rescue, if someone gets in trouble, and in doing so build a trust and loyalty that nothing else ever could. They use the power of encouragement to shape the direction of their team and underwrite risk, even temporary failures (which can lead to failing forward). The shepherd’s staff represents power, in fact the scepter carried by ancient kings was modeled on the shepherd’s staff. But with the power to direct goes the responsibility; to guide with prudence, to maintain boundaries and to care for the whole team, even one who may stray. *This is a personal reflection on chapter 5 of the book, The Way of the Shepherd: 7 Ancient Secrets to Managing Productive People by Leman and Pentak – The main points of chapter are: -Know where you are going, Lead and keep your team moving. -Direct through persuasion not coercion. -Empower freedom but within boundaries. -Remember that failure isn't fatal. ** For a religious thought on this reflection you may consider John 10: 1-6 or you may consult beliefnet for a spiritual one.

Leaders and Correction 1/20/17

Leaders and Correction* We discipline our children so that they can learn self-discipline. The rod of correction is a small throwing stick that the shepherd uses to protect the sheep from predators but can also be used to get the attention of the sheep when they begin to stray. The purpose is not to hurt but to jolt the sheep into paying attention to danger. The shepherd also will use the rod to step in between their sheep and a predator. A great leader will defend their people to others and will discipline them privately. Correcting is the most important thing to get right as a leader. If followers trust you then they will accept your correction, and even appreciate it, and others will also learn from the example. Finally, good leaders constantly check on their people. Just saying that people can come to you if they have a problem is not enough. Good leaders know because they check.** *This is a personal reflection on chapter 6 of the book, The Way of the Shepherd: 7 Ancient Secrets to Managing Productive People by Leman and Pentak - The main points of chapter are: -Protect: Stand up and fight for your people -Correct: Approach discipline as a teaching opportunity -Inspect: Regularly inquire about your people's progress ** For a religious thought on this reflection you may consider John 10: 1-5 or for a spiritual one you can consult beliefnet.com

Leaders and Emotional Intelligence 2/8/17

Emotional Intelligence – The Big Picture* Despite a focus on EI (Emotional Intelligence) today only 36% of those tested can accurately identify their emotions while they are happening. There are 5 core feelings which combine to account for all the feelings we have; happiness, sadness, anger, fear and shame. An emotional hijacking is when an emotion is so strong that you react without thinking. A trigger event is when something generates an emotional reaction. EI is the ability to recognize and understand an emotional reaction and manage it. EI is different from IQ (intelligence quotient) or personality preference, and of the three is the easiest to change. EI is the greatest predictor of professional success because it impacts virtually every other professional skill. Emotional Intelligence is an important skill for leaders who must deal with conflict, inspire under stress and speak into the lives of those they coach and mentor. ** One quick note on last week’s reflection. One of our USACC medical doctors educated me on one of the statements from chapter 1. Not all sensory information passes from the brain stem through the limbic system. I can only assume that the authors here have over-simplified for the sake of brevity but please let me know if you do not think the basic assumptions are valid. One new addition, also from your feedback, I add some connections with Army leadership doctrine to this discussion. Consider ADRP 6-22, 3-26 to 3-32 or FM 6-22, chart 6-1, empathy. Please suggest others. *This is a personal reflection on chapter 2 of the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves – I heard this speaker at an event called the Global Leadership Summit held in late summer each year. ** For a religious thought on this reflection you may consider Proverbs 16:32 or for a spiritual one consult www.belief.net

Leaders and Emotional Intelligence: Self-awareness and Self-management 2/15/17

Emotional Intelligence – The Four Skills (part 1: Self-Awareness and Self-Management)* Personal competence is both self-awareness and self-management; aware of, and in control of, your emotions. Social competence is both social awareness and relationship management; understanding the moods and behaviors of others and knowing how to improve your relationships. This requires reflection on your own emotions in order to understand their origin. Understanding yourself is the foundation to all other emotional intelligence skills. People with poor self-awareness often come across as self-centered or even toxic. Knowing yourself, strengths and weaknesses, can help you keep your composure when everyone else is losing theirs. Self-management is applying that ability to make good choices despite circumstances; not just in the moment but over time. Learning and applying these skills will make you a more successful leader but also has the benefit of making you a happier person.** Next week, in part 2, we will cover the rest of chapter 3, social awareness and relationship management. Continuing our discussions on the connections of this subject with Army leadership doctrine the new ADRP 6-22, out in draft for Army wide staffing, includes a paragraph on Emotional Factors (read 5-15 to 5-18). This is a huge improvement over the current version but does not begin to cover this subject. Please continue to offer input. *This is a personal reflection on chapter 3 of the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves – I heard this speaker at an event called the Global Leadership Summit held in late summer each year. The next summit will be Aug 10-11 at 600 locations nationwide. ** For a religious thought on this reflection you may consider Romans 12:3 or for a spiritual one consult www.belief.net (Search for the term mindfulness)

Emotional Intelligence: Social Awareness and Relationship Management 2/16/17

Emotional Intelligence – The Four Skills (part 2: Social-Awareness and Relationship-Management)* Social competence is both social awareness and relationship management; understanding the moods and behaviors of others and knowing how to improve your relationships. Social awareness is the ability to read other people’s mood which requires close observation and close listening. Relationship management is the ability to use your understanding of your own emotions and of others to create successful interactions. Some people seem to do handle relationships with ease while others seem oblivious to their struggle with these skills. The goal of EI is to improve these skills regardless of your starting point. These skills can make you a more successful leader and, indeed, more successful in all your relationships.** Continuing our discussions on the connections of this subject with Army leadership doctrine, one model offered by the U.S. Army War College includes 10 Roles of a Strategic Leader including: Figurehead, Leader, and Liaison, Monitor, Disseminator, Spokesperson, Entrepreneur, Disturbance Handler, Resource Allocator, and Negotiator. (Bullis, Hill, Yuengert, The Roles of a Strategic Leader: Mintzberg’s Framework, USAWC, Carlisle, 2012). I believe many of these roles would be greatly enhanced by EI. *This is a personal reflection on chapter 3 of the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves – I heard this speaker at an event called the Global Leadership Summit held in late summer each year. The next summit will be Aug 10-11 at 600 locations nationwide. ** For a religious thought on this reflection you may consider Proverbs 14:30 or for a spiritual one consult www.belief.net (Search for the term mindfulness) I also invite comment on my article for the post newspaper from this week at this link. http://www.fkgoldstandard.com/content/instead-becoming-angry-after-trauma-use-it-become-better-person

Emotional Intelligence – Self Management Strategies 3/14/17

Emotional Intelligence – Self Management Strategies* Controlling your emotions and saying and doing what is best in any situation only comes from constant practice. Getting control of yourself is the most difficult part for many people. They know how they feel but keeping their feelings in check is the challenge. If you react emotionally you can get in the way of your own best interest. The strategies for self-management are: Breathe Right, Create an Emotion vs. a Reason List, Make your Goals Public, Count to Ten, Sleep On It, Talk to a Skilled Self-Manager, Smile and Laugh More, Set Aside Some Time in Your Day for Problem Solving, Take Control of Your Self Talk, Visualize Yourself Succeeding, Clean Up your Sleep Hygiene, Focus Your Attention on Your Freedoms Rather than Your Limitations, Stay Synchronized, Speak to Someone Who is NOT Emotionally Invested in Your Problem, Learn a Valuable Lesson from Everyone You Encounter, Put a Mental Recharge into Your Schedule, Accept that Change is Just around the Corner. If you say that these strategies sound similar to those found in Resiliency Training you would be right. The book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 covers each of these in great detail. ** Army Leadership Doctrine: ADRP 6-0 (Mission Command) paragraph 2-4 to 2-8 discusses building teams through interpersonal relationships based on trust. Leaders who handle the “two-way communication and interaction” between the led and the leader will be successful. Army doctrine states the obvious (but not always recognized) truth that Emotionally Intelligent leaders are generally more successful. Please let me know if you have further ideas/comments on this subject. *This is a personal reflection on chapter 6 of the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves – I heard this speaker at an event called the Global Leadership Summit held in late summer each year. The next summit will be Aug 10-11 at 600 locations nationwide. ** For a religious thought on this reflection you may consider 2 Timothy 1:7 or for a spiritual one consult www.belief.net (search the term self-control).